First Hesitant (Dance) Steps to Heal My Spirit #SoFabulous

Okay…so last week I wrote quickly about my joining a group of bloggers to look (and feel) SoFabulous by SoFabCon 14. I talked about my goals, but little about my reasons. Today I am opening up about my whys…soon I will tell you why I chose the sunshine badge…

I am overweight for many reasons (excuses some might say):

  1. I have a sad spine caused by a broken neck and broken back.
  2. I am on my computer way too much – I make my living thus…so it’s hard to carve out balance.
  3. I suffer from the after affects of abuse

Now before you think otherwise, I was neither sexually nor physically abused as a child. I was however, the victim of some pretty rugged verbal abuse by a parent who had issues with me as a human being. I left home to be to be married to a man who added physical abuse to the verbal. The strong woman you see today was not always thus. And, at times, I still suffer from these…

I recently took a class where our values were discussed at length. I discovered that my top core value is applause…this is not new information to me. However, I did have a light bulb moment when I realized that my top value (driving force) is something that I cannot give myself. I must receive my ‘value’ from others, waiting for crumbs to build my self worth. Can you see a corelation to my past? Yes, big time…

So I am busy at reframing my values to be more realistic and achievable!!! I no longer have the need to feel unworthy nor keep abusing myself by trying to achieve something I cannot ever have or have enough of. It took long enough to learn this life lesson…

So I started taking excellent care of myself today!

This morning after my meditative walk and prayers, I danced for 20 minutes. You might say, good for you. But it is a remarkable achievement for this girl who started life searching for that applause from audiences. I was born to dance! I studied dance for 16 years and even was awarded the only A+ in modern ballet (now called contemporary) in college. Then I broke my neck and all that went crashing away in a few seconds.

So dancing, even for a short time, is a great advancement for me. I will probably never be on stage again, but I will be dancing as long as the band plays at SoFabCon 14.

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  1. says

    Good for you Rebecca. Perhaps each one has something in their past they’ve had to deal with, including myself. I used to dwell on it but I decided that I couldn’t do anything to change the situation. I chose to be happy with who I am. Keep on dancing!

  2. says

    I ended up reading this just because my husband brought home a magazine from his recent visit to our daughter in FL–First Coast magazine. There I saw you in the contributors and read your article on the Bloody Mary Wars, almost tasting the drink and the tidbits skewered as toppings. Loved the article and hope to visit the area on our next visit there. I’m so glad I traced you to this magazine and blog. I believe that God sends someone when there is a need and that I needed to read this post. Best of everything to you! I’ve subscribed so that I can hear more of how you dance through life.


  3. Rebecca E. Parsons says

    Dewena…this is why I do what I do. I thank you and, when you visit, let’s have a Bloody Mary!

  4. says

    Well I hope to see you dancing up a storm at SoFabCon!! And hey, we all beat up ourselves and then we beat up ourselves for beating up ourselves!! I’m so glad I’m in my 50’s – I would never go back!! I’ve learned too much to go backwards!

  5. says

    Rebecca you are such a strong woman! Many people never come to a place of realization like you have. And while I know you need to believe it within yourself and don’t need me to say it (I’ll say it nonetheless)- YOU ARE AWESOME!!! YOU ARE A SURVIVOR!! YOU ARE A STRONG CAPABLE WOMAN!! And YOU can do ANYTHING you set your mind on!!!:) I can’t wait to see you at SoFabCon lady!:)

  6. says

    People don’t realize how much a quick dance session can change our moods. When the kids were smaller and I overwhelmed by their energy I would turn up the radio and dance with them.

  7. says

    Rebecca I can relate on all levels! I keep telling myself what doesn’t kill me has only mad me stronger and the same goes for you! Each day we wake up and make decisions to be bigger than our past, circumstances, etc…! Can’t wait to see you in May!

  8. says

    While I’ve never had so much as a dance class, my kid sand I make time every evening while dinner cooks and we wait for my husband to get home to have a dance party. They choose the music and their own moves. And it’s so… freeing. I’m amazed at it’s power. Congrats on breaking through and finding that applause for yourself.

  9. says

    Oh Rebecca your strength and loveliness are so inspiring to me all the time. I loved spending time with you last year at SoFabCon and can’t wait to hang out with you again roomie!


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