It was a second wedding for me, so I felt silly creating a wedding registry. We only received a few presents, but I treasure them. These beautiful ornaments arrived yesterday from my work family at Collective Bias. They are the perfect gift for us…they matched the casual beach theme of our wedding, they are a beautiful addition to our mercury glass Christmas ornament collection and they arrived at just the right time…to lift my sagging spirits.
Last week we received word that our home for the past two years is going on the market and we must move the first of the year. It was difficult news to hear and it is proving even more difficult to find a new home. There are just a few places for rent on my tiny island…and they are costly. Sunday evening I found the perfect place to move…close to where we are now. I was so excited. Yesterday, when I called the agency, I was told that seven people were scheduled to look at the house today and I could see it tomorrow morning. WOW, a jolt to my already shaken spirit.
You see, I am not ready to move. This place, though small and old, has been a refuge for me to find peace from all the chaos of the previous five years. I am not ready, but God must be…so I am preparing myself to pack, to grasp with being unsettled and to let go once again!
Letting go is becoming easier for me. Lack of security is not. I just want a home that no one can take from me. It is hard to try to build a life when you know it can all be gone in the wink of an eye. And so I find myself today…in the most beautiful of seasons…searching, believing and hoping to find a new place to call home for just a little while.
A friend told me to pray the others away last night. I am doing just that today. Praying that the others who visit the house today will not like it for some reason. Praying that I find a new home that will bring me the sense of peace that this home on the beautiful marshes that I love has done. Praying that I may someday soon have a home of my own to cherish once again.
These ornaments brought a spark of Christmas spirit with them. After I received the news that we would need to move, I cancelled the trip home to spend the holidays with my family. Several reasons…I am afraid to spend the money we might need to pay for the move…and worse, I would not be much fun to be around unless you wanted a pity party.
might just did put up the Christmas tree and don a pair of Christmas socks because I long to be: Too positive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful, too determined to be defeated.